The art of “good enough” #thisispostpartum
This is our first carry. This is not a “good” carry. Baby’s face is covered. The tightening isn’t right. Fabric and baby are all over the place. The rings would probably start bothering me if I had baby in it for a long time.
I’m a babywearing educator. I’ve helped thousands of parents carry their babies with our store and educational content. But I’m also just a “mom”.
I didn’t follow the “rules” about how to have a successful first carry. My baby was fussy, hungry, and NOT a happy participant. I didn’t even get a solid check mark for safety, which is my biggest concern always, because of how curled baby ended up in here.
It would be easy to say this was a “fail”. But it’s so far from that.
What you don’t see is the strength to do this carry at all. This wouldn’t have been possible even one day earlier. Recovering from a hemorrhage really sucks, by the way. I didn’t know if I could lift baby into this carrier at all. But I did.
What you don’t see is that I changed my baby’s diaper for the first time just before this- something I couldn’t do a few days ago. And when I did, I saw the diaper laundry needed to be done.
So I picked up my crying, fussy, hungry baby. I grabbed a carrier that I knew would be quick, if not perfect. Even though it isn’t my favorite style, I knew I could tolerate its placement post-surgery. So I grabbed my ring sling and in went my squirming, fussing newborn. And as I tightened my baby in this “good enough” carry, I could feel baby breathing and settling in to me. And I took the diapers and I put them in the wash.
I did it. And a few minutes later, my baby was back in my arms nursing, the carrier off to the side. Waiting for me to try again. Waiting for the next “good enough" carry to get me through another small moment.
Mamas and papas are made not all at once, but moment by moment. Just as our babies seemingly learn new things overnight, we develop new skills as we need them. We learn about our babies while learning about ourselves.
Today, I carried my baby. It wasn’t perfect. But it was “good enough”.
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As I reflect on this piece I wrote after my second child was born, I’m here to tell you that we're here for you, cheering you on. Wishing you the joy of every small moment with your baby.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. In fact, it rarely is.
But you don’t have to be “perfect” to be a good parent. And you don’t have to use your carrier perfectly every time to babywear.
Enjoy those babies- they grow so fast. Don’t wait to pick them up and love on them. Don't be afraid it won't be perfect. Don't worry if you don't get it right the first time - or the first 10 times!
Give that carrier a try. We’ll be here for you, every messy, imperfect step of the way.
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My first carry with baby #2 was a ring sling, but we've used many different styles! If you're looking for ideas for how to carry your newborn, tap here to see our newborn collection, or take a look below.
Remember, we're always just a DM or an email away!